A dream, submitted for your approval:
1. Went to my mother’s wedding. Things are starting to go wrong, food isn’t being delivered, the music is off. Jenn is trying to fix things (?), and Rachel (?) walks into another room until things get less awkward. Mom begins sobbing uncontrollably. When people tell her it’s alright, she says, “It’s not that! It’s that I’ve….I’ve been sleeping with your uncle Jeff!” Jeff, who is married to my father’s sister, looks extremely uncomfortable. “I love YOU” my mom screams. “Let’s get married!”
Rachel comes back and says “Uh, whoa, what happened?”
“Well. It looks like my mom has been sexing up that guy.” I point.
2. I go to a grocery store but can’t really find what I want. I get anxious and take a whole cauliflower, picking parts off of it and eating. At one point, I look down to realize that there’s a small pile of white cauliflower crumbs around my feet. An employee shows up to clean it, and I quickly hide the cauliflower behind my back (even though I’m the only person in the entire store) and look innocent. At the checkout, I want to buy two items, but I make some sort of weird/mean joke with the cashier, and he assumes I’m trying to get out of paying for them.
“No no, here, really,” I say, pulling out my credit card as he calls for the store manager. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, I can actually pay for these.”
“Sir, that credit card won’t be necessary, just put it away. Would you be willing to do work in the stockroom? Until you can pay for these items?”
“No!” I say, handing him another credit card. “Really, I’m not poor, I’m just an asshole!”
Priorities.
3. I meet a girl off Onion Personals, and she lives in some town south of here. I go to visit her, and she’s hanging out with Don. I guess everyone knows Don. She’s totally nice, but the Don thing weirds me out.
4. Don and the girl and I find a huge tree, with built-in ramps and guard rails and furniture, in the middle of a giant field. I explain that it’s the Cloud Cult tree, you know, the tree Cloud Cult lives in. They don’t understand, so I find a branch with 20 segments, and press them randomly, playing songs. I finally find Car Crash, but it’s not the regular version, it’s some crappy dance mix. I feel kind of embarrassed.
(odd note: Cloud Cult was in Madison last Friday. I’m there THIS Friday. WTF?)
5. After that, we find another field with a game of Foosbumper in the middle. Foosbumper is foosball, but with larger players and, well, bumpers, like in bumperpool. Also, it’s played with yellow Legos instead of table tennis balls. And not just one yellow Lego: You dump a whole bucket onto the table, and try to get them into an opponent’s three goals. After a bit, the girl stops playing for real, and starts throwing Legos into my goals. I try to pretend it doesn’t bother me.
—–
Randomly!
Meredith stopped by last night. Business as usual: Moments of comfort framed by attacks and counter-attacks. Terrible goodbye.
What a mess.
—–
I’m actually ahead at work. I’ve gone ahead, without permission, and designed sites that I haven’t received final requests for. The trick now: When people ask for them “By next week!” I give them a big lecture about how I’m sorry, but I can’t drop everything to focus on your project for 5 whole days, and then I launch it that afternoon to the golden rays of praise I so desperately need!
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