doug nelson: DISENGAGE!

I’m clearing out my Bloglines today, and doing a little housework in some other online areas.
However, I certainly can’t dump my lovely Newstoday, not after they provide me with links like these:

Fancy Parking (I highly recommend you check out every link on the page)
Baby Bush Toys
The Hall Of Best Knowledge
COMM 3344-1: Games For The Web student projects

Tonight is the last night of OnTap for a month, as well as Rob’s mysteriously named Happy Hour: Reloaded. With any luck, I’ll be able to get this AFAC thing out of the way too, and I’ll have a solid five days of NO WORK. Except, of course, for the work from my actual job, which, er, I will be, um, staying late to do. Crap.

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Leina’ala links to one awesome Livejournal. Go, read.

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Communication Arts Advertising Annual came today.
Nike Sphere magazine ads are stunning, but once again, CP+B wins my most-memorable prize by slapping upside-down fake covers on the back of FHM magazine. “Aspiring Groom,” one cover reads, “When You’re Ready To Commit.”
Headlines: “IS SHE THE ONE?” “Bachelor Parties: The Lewd Fleshfest You Just Don’t Need” “Why Your Stuff Has To Go” “Looking Past Her Perfect Looks” “Does Sakatchewan Barley Really Make Molson The Perfect Honeymoon Beer?”
Inside the back cover: “Your good friends at Molson have painstakingly designed the back of this magazine to help you appear committed, without all the hassle of actually committing. The next time you entertain a fine-looking friend, simply flip the magazine over to active Molson’s twin-cover technology.”

The other two fake covers: “Trustfund” and “Animal Rescuer Magazine.”

Altoids and Bic and Calgary Zoo and the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts are other favorites. Maybe I should scan some of these for bloggin’. That would be totally not-right.
Also, there’s a tiny moment of guilty glee seeing the Axe TV spot, with the pipe, right up front in the television section. “Yes! Great! That’s exactly what I thought! And…..how embarrassing for all of us.”

Finally, the Onion’s subscription cards:
“BALANCED COVERAGE - on both sides of the ethnic-cleansing issue”
“WE FIRED OUR FACT-CHECKERS - and passed the savings on to you”
“IT’S JUST A NEWSPAPER - yeah, and ghandi was just a mexican”

I HAVE TO GET BACK INTO DESIGN
In April. After I use these vacation days.

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Score.
CAMPUS SAFETY OFFICIAL: “But we need that information up right away, because people aren’t following the rules, and we have to give’em parking tickets.”
DOUG: “Got it, I’m nearly finished.”
CAMPUS SAFETY OFFICIAL: “Oh, but don’t worry. You’ll never get one, even if you do get one. Know what I mean?”

Up until today, I had a more clandestine arrangement with the parking people. It’s weird to have it overtly spelled out, mob-style.

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I WILL ALARM ISLAMIC OWLS
WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

I will be alarming
the Islamic owls
that are in
the barn

Forgive me
they see so well in the dark
so feathery
and so dedicated to Allah

Okay, WCW (we’re tight like that) didn’t really write that: It’s from the Holy Tango Of Literature, which is now available online for your reading pleasure (although, you should still own it) (although, I don’t) (I know, I suck).
Dickinson is another great one in here. Actually, no, they’re all good.

Walt Whitman’s is “Want Wham! Lit.”

A line of a poem can be broken down into individual “feet”; three of these feet make a yard, which can then be converted into the poem’s meter using a metric conversion table. A foot generally consists of one stressed syllable and a small number of unstressed syllables. Here are the most common poetic feet, as well as some obscure ones included mainly to show how well educated we are, with illustrative examples.

iamb: ku-RUPT
trochee: OUT-kast
spondee: SLICK RICK
anapest: de la SOUL
dactyl: LUD-a-cris
amphibrach: the PHAR-cyde
amphimacer: FOX-y BROWN
choriamb: BIG dad-dy KANE
amphitrochidactapest: DEL tha FUN-kee ho-mo-SA-pi-en

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Okay, I’ll stop.